Rebuilding Your Life After The Loss Of A Loved One
By Lucille Rosetti of thebereaved.org
After the loss of a close family member or friend, you may be struggling with the concept of starting over. As someone who has lost a close family member, I know how difficult this process can be. From my experience, a change of scenery can be highly beneficial for healing, rest, and rejuvenation. Before taking the time to heal, you may need to tackle some of the difficult tasks. The following steps were beneficial for my personal healing process.
Sorting Through a Loved One’s Items
Before you can consider changing homes, cities, or perhaps even countries, you may need to take some time to address some of the more difficult tasks. Likely, your loved one left behind personal items that need to be sorted through. To begin, find out if he/she had a personal will. Likely, this documentation can help determine who your loved one wanted certain items to go to. If there is no indication of which item should go to whom, begin thinking about who your family/friend was close to. Children, close friends, neighbors, and perhaps parents, may be among the list of important beneficiaries.
If there are items remaining, you will likely need to find a way to re-distribute these. If your town has a thrift store, consider contacting them about certain items. During this process, it is common to feel sadness and even guilt about donating or discarding items; however, doing so is an important step toward moving forward. Always remember that you do not have to do this alone — asking for help can be incredibly beneficial. If you’re simply feeling overwhelmed by the size of the job and, as a result, are having trouble getting started, there are a few tricks you and your family members can use to get motivated. Try breaking the job down by room or working for a set amount of time, with breaks in between.
Preparing for Home Sale
For many, the first step towards a fresh start involves selling one’s home. If you want to make the most out of your home sale, consider taking some steps to maximize your home’s value. To begin, try to obtain an estimate of what your home might sell for. Online home value calculators can be incredibly helpful when determining a home’s estimated value. For a more accurate estimate of your home’s market value, contact a local real estate agent. If you want to go one more step, consider hiring a home inspector to investigate some of your home’s features, such as the structure, roof, and plumbing. While you will likely be required to hire a home inspector before putting your property on the market, doing so now can help you create a home-sale to-do list. In San Diego, you can expect to pay between $350 and $550 for home inspection services.
Now that your home is ready for sale, it’s time to start considering your options for relocating. No matter what your definition is of a fresh start, you may need to relocate yourself and your belongings. Start by visiting your bank or a financial advisor to help get a clear picture of your financial situation. Your assets and income will likely factor into your relocation options. You’ll also have to budget for the cost of moving. If you’re moving locally, expect to pay around $25 an hour per mover. Cross-country moves will be considerably more expensive, but you can save money by scheduling your move for off-peak seasons and booking in advance.
Now that you’ve taken care of the practical tasks, it’s time to create a clear picture of what you want your life to look like. Do you want to stay in your current town/city? Are you looking to buy another home or rent? What is important to you with regard to a living area? For some, living close to family and friends is important. For others, a fresh start means moving to a completely new area. No matter what you decide, remember that your choice does not have to be permanent. The process of starting over is a journey, not a destination.
Losing someone you love is one of life’s most devastating experiences. If you are looking to embark on a path of healing, consider taking a few steps to help yourself transition to a new life. The steps above were incredibly helpful after I lost someone I loved, and I hope they provide some guidance for you as well.